I’m a 27 year old woman who has never explored her sexuality. I am sheltered. Naive, even. I’ve never had an orgasm with another person, and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve even had sex.

Sad, isn’t it?

My mind has always been full of eroticism. A favorite saying of mine is that I am overstimulated and undersexed. I’ve always wanted more, but I have always been afraid of being that slut that society looks down on. It is in my nature to please people, and I couldn’t bear the thought of acting on my desires and being snubbed for it.

So I struggled. For years, I’ve struggled with inner desire. I finally took on a fuck buddy (R, from here on out) last year. We weren’t together long, but of all of my experiences those are the only ones I look on with fondness and desire. R is a navy man and often out to sea. I would go weeks without hearing from him, and for the first time in my life, I found myself daydreaming about a cock. Not the man; the cock. This was a significant change in my life. I gave my second (third, and final) blowjob to this man. And I loved it. I loved the noises he made when I licked just the right spot. His shock and delight in seeing me swallow what I could of his cum before the rest poured down my chin left me wet for days. I couldn’t wait to get his beautiful cock in my mouth whenever I saw him after that. There was one time where I effectively drove 8 hours to see him for a little fun. The first thing I did was suck his cock until he was barely coherent. Then work called him in, and I had to leave. I drove 8 hours to give a blowjob, and though I’ve never admitted this before, I didn’t mind. I had given him pleasure. He got what he needed. And though I was not physically satisfied after that encounter, I was okay with that because I was happy that he was.

Since I was a child, I’ve fantasized about being with other women. I’ve always known that when it comes down to it, I definitely want a stiff cock in my hands, but I’ve wondered what it would be like to touch the softness of a woman. So finally, last week, I posted a query on Craig’s List looking for a woman willing to teach me how to explore another woman’s body. And somehow, that is what led me to where I am today – being considered as a sub.

I have an online friend who I’ve known for more than a year. He had helped me through some stuff when I needed a shoulder, we had flirted off and on, but it was never anything serious. We rarely talked about anything personal. But when I posted on CL, I needed to tell someone. Anyone. And the vast majority of the people in my life would not understand this (did I mention I live in the Bible Belt?). He was thrilled that I was taking steps to discover my sexuality. And it was in this conversation that he revealed to me that he is a Dom. I didn’t really have any idea about D/s relationships so he took the time to explain them to me, as I explained my shyness and insecurities and my need to have my partner be in charge. Somehow… after about 6 hours of talking, he decided I was going to be his. Or at least be trained to be his. I just reread the conversation, and there is no clear defining moment of “You are going to train to be my sub.” It just happened.

I was ready to go to bed, but I was horny as hell after all of the bdsm talk we’d had. He asked, no told, me to turn on my webcam and masturbate for him. I refused, giving excuse after excuse (the least of which being that I’d never been on cam before).

Him: you can do it now and be pleased for my entertainment, or you can do it later and be punished for my entertainment

me: i’m not your sub.

Him: consider yourself under consideration 😀

Of course, I tried to fight it. But really, what was I fighting? I was dripping wet at the thought of this man owning me. I accepted the fact that I would be punished the next time, and all of a sudden I’m being trained as a sub.



~ by M on January 31, 2010.

One Response to “Introduction”

  1. Great introduction. I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog. That cam session talked about was VERY HOT!!! Thanks for sharing. Kara XOXO

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